River

River
It's hard to say anything jokingly rude about River because of how wholesome they are. River is a devout tea lover hoping to one day take over the world using tea and cats. The one true weakness and ultimate weapon against River is mystery sauce, but River has learned to weaponize this sauce for themselves and is now using it as a means for world domination. Provider and collector of many cat memes.

They are also known to actually be a 27-year-old male.

River has had their fingers in a lot of historical events on Acecord. They were partially responsible for the making of the bratcord jingle, they were a founding member of the fish gang, they founded one of the multiple Acecord cults.

And even though they are known as the 'Tea God', their main goal is the happiness of every Acecord family member.

They are known for sending sleepy members of the Acecord family to sleep. Sometimes while asking nicely, and sometimes ''less nicely. ''

To get on River's good side it is always recommended to prepare some freshly steeped tea and maybe even bring some cookies. They will be your friend instantly.